Sunrise Factsheet

1. Preparing your child for the exciting arrival of their baby brother or sister
2. Routine setting for newborns to 4 to 6 months
3. Important feeding facts
4. Helpful products
5. Book suggestions

1)  Preparing your Child for the Impending Arrival of their Baby Brother or Sister

Communication and Preparation

• Make sure you talk about all the aspects of bringing a tiny, new little baby home. Be honest, talk about the fact that mummy and daddy will be busy with the new baby and so will they.
  
  
• Read them books that are clear and descriptive that outline the things a new baby will (cry, eat, sleep, kick, look around) and won't (play with Duplo JUST yet) be able to do, and about the things they will be able to do with the baby (like play with their toys while the baby watches, sing to the baby, and help mummy change the baby’s nappy or clothes).

Book Suggestions

‘First Experiences’ range. Concepts title ‘Our New Baby’

This ‘First Experiences’ range also has a great series of concept books for toddlers + ranging from how to cope with simple concepts like a baby sitter, day-care, a new family member and moving house, all the way up to more serious concepts like grief and serious illness within their family like cancer of a parent etc.  An extremely useful resource to help you communicate clearly and honestly the current events in your child’s life to enable them to develop good associations with new experiences by making them more pleasurable through preparation, as well as helping encourage social and emotional development and the development of that all important independence.

‘Love That Baby’ by Kathryn Lasky.

‘A book about babies for new brothers, sisters, cousins and friends’

A lovely honest look at a new baby and all the things associated. It touches on the role they (as a part of the family) will and can play in the child’s life, as well as what to expect from the baby.

• Let your older child help you prepare the nursery for the baby coming home, and very importantly help you pack your bag for the hospital. This will ensure they stay focussed on the baby and start to think about the baby well before this delightful little bundle arrives home, and helps them stay reminded that soon you will go to the hospital to have the baby.
  
  
• Talk about who is coming to help look after them if someone else is going to be taking over the nurturing role other than daddy when mummy goes to hospital. Be sure to make some extra time in the weeks leading up to the birth to spend more time with that person, so they are comfortable to be left with them, and so the temporary carer knows the flow of your child’s day. It will be disruptive enough to have mummy gone and a new baby to visit in hospital without their stability (their usual daily rituals) all changing too.
  
  
• Go to the shops with your little boy or girl and buy a small selection of ‘special toys’ that your child gets to have when you are breast-feeding. That will ensure that special and oh-so frequent time of the day feels like a treat to them, rather than a time when they get bored and a little mischievous when you are a little pre occupied or unavailable to intervene and redirect them like you usually do. Try and preserve these special toys for feed times only (and don’t fret, in those first few weeks, there will be ample opportunity for your child to play with them).
  
  
• Involve your child in the new baby’s routine so they feel they are very valued and important in the day to mummy and daddy, and they can understand the true sense of family units working as a great little team.
  
  
• Make special time as parents to do something very special and unique with your older child/children (at least once a week each). This should be something that you each share as your ‘special time’ together.
  
  
• Make sure that you ask your child to check with you before playing with the new baby, and set boundaries around what they are allowed to do with this precious little baby. Often siblings will simply want to look after the baby just like you, and that may result in a very little person trying to carry, feed or put to bed a very tiny baby (Yikes).
  
  
• Avoid leaving your precious little baby unsupervised with an older (but still a baby themselves) albeit helpful big brother or sister.
  
  
• Work on listening skills and independent skills with your older children (outlined in earlier Sunrise fact sheets), so when your baby comes along you can be sure that you are not in a pattern with your older child of them challenging you rather than their environment. It is a straight fact that you will have less time on your hands and by the time your older child is two, they are very capable of pottering and exploring their toys and environment while you feed or bath the baby. This crucial skill will ensure that the introduction of a very precious and entirely dependent baby to the home is less stressful for both you and your older child.
  
  
• Help out a friend one afternoon a week and offer to have the baby for an hour or so, for about four weeks before the baby is due. This is better preparation than any book could ever be.

2)  Routine Setting for Newborns

There is clearly a lot of information about routines and parenting philosophies for infants, and I can imagine as parents who are either first timers or who have previously had a difficult time with their first little sleepless bundle, there must be a bit of confusion, not to mention apprehension about what is the right thing to do.

I think the main thing to remember is balance and common sense when it comes to tiny little babies.

While they are so young anything that is too rigid or too loose will usually not feel quite right to you. That’s usually because it isn’t balanced.

I believe in these early stages of your baby’s life it is crucial that you have a plan. By plan I mean, you know as parents, that you are going to do what is right for you, your baby and your family.

When deciding what is right for your baby it is important to consider these following hints:

Have a basic feeding, and feeding cyclic plan (but not too rigid).

I would always encourage good solid feeding with your baby right from the start. I would suggest that from that very first day, you work on your baby having a full feed. Work on feeding for 30-45 minutes, and not letting your baby be too snoozy on their feeds because they are so very, very, very sleepy… and we know they are the biggest sleepyheads, even rivalling the sleeping habits of the humble cat who would happily sleep 20 hours a day.

This may appear an insurmountable task initially but what you are working towards
in those first 4-6 weeks is getting your baby to feed sufficiently and be occupied enough with feeding, winding, nappy changing, and from around two weeks onwards, having a little awake time (where you sing or chat to them, or go for a little walk and show them the trees), so that they can happily go to sleep after that period until the next feed is due... around 2½ - 3 hours from the beginning of their previous feed. This pattern should be sustainable for some time to come too. Anywhere up to the 6th week.

There should be flexibility in this routine because sometimes when they are so tiny, there will be times of the day (particularly towards the end of the day), when mums reserves, and therefore their milk supply and quality is a little lower and your baby may need to feed more regularly. So toward the end of the day you may well find your little one is more likely to need to feed more regularly than this 2½ -3 hourly feeding time.

Now while I say more regularly, I don’t mean, every 40 minutes to an hour. I mean possibly a two-hour stretch towards the end of the day (based on the starting time of the previous feed) may be all your baby can do.

You can then start again from that feed ensuring as ALWAYS they have a full feed (not a sleepy, disinterested feed) and continue to pursue your initial goal of 2½-3 hours.

In those first 2 weeks you may well be feeding your baby 8-10 times a day, whereas from the 3rd week, you will be pursuing a more solid feed and awake time then sleep to the next feed, usually 2½ to 3 hours from the start of the previous feed, and average around 8 feeds a day, but potentially more if you feel it is necessary or if instructed by your paediatrician or child health nurse.

Up until 4 weeks I would not suggest allowing your baby to go for longer than 3 hourly feeds through the day but after the 10pm feed, your baby could sleep for up to 5 hours by the age of 4-6 weeks (ensuring that your baby is feeding well and thriving through the day and has no medical reason for needing additional feeds through their day like jaundice etc). Always check with your paediatrician or health professional if you are unsure of this or your milk supply.

By the time your little one reaches 6-8 weeks you will find that their need to feed between the 10-11pm rollover feed and their usual 6.30-7.30am waking time starts to diminish or ‘push out’ and most babies will happily start to sleep for longer and longer periods,  naturally eliminating that middle of the night feed.

Statistically, breast fed babies by the 9-10th week could sleep around 8 hours without waking for a feed providing they are having 8 daytime feeds a day. Bottle fed babies on the other hand, can sleep for up to 11 hours at any one stretch without waking for a feed, provided you have ensured they are feeding solidly at each feed throughout the day, and are having progressive awake times after each feed, wind and nappy change.

Obviously, with little babies this alert time varies, and I tend to find that most babies are at their most sleepy after the first feed of the morning (even after a full night’s sleep) and tend to be more difficult to keep awake. I find they are more likely to have a longer awake period after the second or third feed through the day. Just try to remember that as they get older, you need to continue to pursue progressively longer alert time during and immediately after their feeds, because as they get older, they definitely need to have more time awake to encourage solid sleep throughout the day and obviously then, throughout the night.

The biggest problem that most parents run into is allowing their babies to sleep pretty much all morning after a full night’s sleep beyond that first 4-6 weeks, without pursuing this much needed alert time during and immediately after those 6am to early afternoon feeds. This essentially starts to result, as the baby gets older, in a little one that sleeps all night and all morning, and then find it increasingly difficult to sleep more than those sneaky 20 or 40 minute cat naps in the afternoon, leaving baby overtired by the end of the day, and ultimately resulting in the need for considerable intervention to assist baby to settle down for the night. This naturally results in ‘associations’ being developed, and before you know it, you’re on my waiting list. I would like to think that we can try and give as much information to you as possible so you don’t have to have a difficult period with your baby’s sleep, but if you are still having troubles at 4-6 months pop on my waiting list and we can devise an individual routine based on your baby’s needs, as they sometimes just need to be individually assessed.

I suggest you read the books I have recommended below so you are well armed with all the information you will need to make an informed decision about the parent/child directed feeding, and ultimately, a sleeping plan you will need to assist baby to develop.

By around the 6-8th week, your little baby will be starting to feed more efficiently and be able to take longer periods of sleep. This is where the natural progression to a new flexible aim of around 3-3½ hours between feeds comes into play, and eventually moving forward to your 3½ to 4 hours feeds. Always work towards the latter of the variable times, however, if you need to deviate, that’s where your flexibility comes into play. Especially when you have older children, it’s important to make sure you can deviate from the schedule if needed. Again, some babies do not necessarily always respond to too much variation so be careful not to do it by too much, too often.

By the 16th week you will be able to gradually pull back the time you introduce your rollover feed (i.e., from 11pm to 10pm to 9:30 to 9pm) to start to eliminate this feed. I do find though, that most mums and dads are happy for this feed to continue, as it is such a lovely time for all.  If you have decided to pull back this feed to start to eliminate it, you will know when it’s time to drop it, because your baby will not be terribly interested in taking much milk, and will still be able to sleep through to their morning feed time of 6-7.30am.

One Little Word of Advice

This should be a parent directed (being that you quietly get your little bundle up and feed and wind calmly, then pop them back to bed) feed. It’s important that while enjoying this beautiful night feed, you don’t start to create associations with re-settling (by allowing them to develop a learnt pattern of waking for that feed to go back to sleep)… so be a little flexible with this time, sometimes 10, sometimes 11pm.

Always start your day at the same time. Roughly between 6.30 and 7.30am even if your baby woke and fed at 5am and went straight back to sleep. This way, you are setting a balanced rhythm in your baby’s metabolism and your day is more predictable. Remember to start your times based on the first feeding time of the day. It is better that this time is consistently similar each day though, so try and decide on a day time starting time within the first 4 weeks.

Don’t be afraid to wake your baby if they are due for a feed. It is an important plan to structure your baby’s feeding around a lose time frame to ensure they are receiving their milk requirement and having good solid feeds and daytimes so your little one can start to sleep more soundly through at night.

I usually suggest that as the end of the day draws near, and your little baby grows more and more tired, you be considerate and a little strategic in coping with their more tired times of the day. They are more restless and it is often a lovely plan to allow that last nap of the day, if it is not terribly efficient in their bassinette (even when swaddled well), to allow them to have a sleep in a pouch on you. This way you can prepare your older child’s dinner and spend time with your older child without the stress of your restless ‘afternoon baby’ having a difficult time settling. This time is typically known as ‘the mothering hour’. Don’t be afraid of it, and don’t, in your somewhat tired state try and dig your heals in and insist baby sleeps in their cot, it will simply unravel you and make you more tired.

I do not however, suggest this at all day sleeps. To the contrary in fact, I believe it’s important to establish their bassinette/cot as a comfort and sleep zone, but not exclusively. I find lots of little ones sleep beautifully all snuggled up in their pram or bassinette outside under a tree or on the balcony or porch on a mild day. As the day progresses though, it’s important to ensure they are well winded, swaddled and tucked into their cosy beds for a good solid, uninterrupted sleep.

In those early stages of establishing longer sleep patterns, it’s a good idea to try and allow baby to settle themselves, and offer appropriate levels of support to re assure (without interfering or over stimulating your tired baby). If you have tried to ‘ssshhhhh’ and gently pat them to settle them (if they are having a really tricky time settling off without intervention), and they are still having a little trouble, you should make sure they are well wrapped (arms down if they are flapping too much), and give them a re assuring cuddle before tucking them back into their beds to settle off to sleep, this process can be repeated until baby feels secure and settled enough to relax in their cot.

Try to remember that ‘The more you fuss, the more they fuss’.  Sometimes they are just tired and need to be left for a little while to go to sleep, and they can’t do that if you are fussing too much.

If your baby does wake shortly after going to sleep, and it’s clearly not hunger and well before a feed is due, try to re-settle with a gentle ‘ssshhhhh’ and pat to calm and relax them and see if they will re-settle independently.

NB: Remember to not always rush straight in when you hear your baby.  All infants transition between sleep patterns (say ‘dream state’ sleep to a deep sound sleep without dreaming designed for growth, cell rejuvenation and healing) by passing through a slightly more alert state registered in the brain as a K-complex. This transition is brief and your infant is only in a semi conscious state that usually lasts for 1-8 minutes before they dip back down into a new sleep state. If you rush in, you may well be actually waking your baby right up, where they may well have re-settled naturally if left be for a little while. If your baby is prone to these episodes, a firm wrap with arms across their body is strongly recommended.

If they do not settle independently then it is actually important in those first few weeks to try and establish the longer sleeps, so it is ok to pop your baby in their pram and go for a little walk until they are calm enough to re-settle independently (where they could be happily parked on the balcony or under the tree in the back yard to either drift off to sleep or complete their sleep cycle (ensuring you know the environment is safe).

Now clearly, this is a huge topic, and short of writing a book, I will not be able to give you all the information that you would need at this age. It’s important to read some books to get good information on routines and common sense suggestions when progressing through basic flexible routines with your precious new little life.

If you are still experiencing problems at 4-6 months then you may well need a more tailored routine that is easily designed and implemented, but please don’t, for your own sake, wait until things get too difficult and you are not coping, send me an email nice and early so you can be popped onto my waiting list (usually 6 weeks long as a minimum guide to go off) and we will work together to get you all sleeping soundly.

3)  Important Feeding Tips

If you are breast-feeding remember to always position your baby correctly. There are several strategies for a single baby feed. They all have one thing in common, that you ensure that your baby is facing your body down the length of his/her entire body (even if their legs face away from your body as in a duel or twin feeding position). Make sure your baby latches on properly; taking extra caution to make sure they take the areola into their mouth as well as the nipple to encourage enough stimulation to trigger the hormones responsible for the ‘let down’ of milk. This ‘let down’ obviously prevents baby from becoming frustrated and breaking feeds too often (often resulting in windier or ‘colicky’ babies) and encourages good milk production.

Keep your baby actively feeding even if they are sleepy. Rub their little feet and talk to them, babies love the sound of their mummy, daddy and siblings voice and they will listen intently if you chatter to them. Make sure they continue to actively feed so they have full little tummies as we want to be really careful to not encourage snacking (a brief feed, usually providing the less nourishing foremilk, where the baby is hungry far more frequently, and therefore unable to take consecutive cycles of deep and light REM sleep cycling due to the increased frequency of feeds).

All babies tend to gulp air with each feed, and in some cases gulp several lots of air, which then gather in pockets in their little tummies as the feed progresses. This generally layers in the tummy in a pattern of air pocket, then milk, then air pocket etc. develops in them. If not winded effectively through the whole day, the feeds progress in a less efficient way because their tummies gradually fill with air.

It’s absolutely crucial (especially if your baby is ‘colicky’), to wind your baby well, making sure they are not left with the uncomfortable sensation of wind passing through their system, or a tummy that has the babies brain telling them they are hungry because they are essentially a little empty, but unable to drink milk because they are full of air. If your baby is clearly uncomfortable through a feed, be sure to wind until you release some air (in the form of a burp) before resuming the feed, even if baby is making a little fuss.

I really cannot stress how important effective and regular winding per feed is to the entire feeding and sleeping process. If you are unsure about your strategy, or would like more information, be sure to chat to your child health nurse about this topic.

If your baby is bottle-fed, then there are a couple of important things that you need to remember. Choose the right sized teat. A teat that is too fast will result in choking or vomiting and generally cause broken or unsettled feeds. At the same time, if the teat is too slow, it will take a very long time for baby to take a good quantity of liquid, which ultimately leads to incomplete feeds due to babies’ frustration or exhaustion.

Always remember that once you warm the milk in a bottle, and the lid is replaced, there is a suction caused and most of the air is expelled out of the bottle resulting in the lid being on too tight. This will inhibit the baby’s ability to feed efficiently so it’s important to loosen the lid and re screw lightly, just before offering the bottle to your baby.

Once you have loosened the lid, be cautious to not screw it on too tightly. Simply turn it until you feel the pressure of the threads and give it a little turn to keep it in place, rather than screwing in on firmly. If you have done this properly, then the lid will not leak as you feed, and you should see a stream of bubbles trickling into the bottle as your baby suckles. This will result in a productive feed, with less chance of fussy feeding and or broken feeding which results in windy babies that need to be fed more frequently.

Equally, if your baby is having to break their feed because the nipple is being sucked together, or in extreme cases, sucked back into the bottle, or break their suction to allow air to get drawn into the bottle so they can resume drinking, then you must change either the teat flow size or how firmly you’re fastening your babies bottle lid. This kind of regular breaking of feeding tends to lead to excessive vomiting or projectile vomiting.

4)  Book Suggestions

These are some book suggestions that I highly recommend for families looking to create great feed and subsequently sleep patterns in their home, and help bring predictability and stability into their and their children’s day.

The Contented Little Baby Book by Gina Ford, Fiona MacIntyre (Editor)
Occasionally when a baby is young, there becomes a need to develop a more structured routine to help facilitate more effective sleep.  These babies are typically lower sleep requirement babies that will need to have a fairly carefully tailored sleep plan, particularly in their mornings, in order to promote more and better sleep than what you could ever achieve with a ‘standard’ routine suggestion. I have found the routine suggestions in this book to align fairly well with my basic philosophy for lower sleep requirement babies and their families. This would be the second recommendation for parents experiencing problems despite their best efforts to follow the instructions of all the health professions they have sort council from.

As you can imagine infants this young are incredibly needy for a number of reasons. The first important fact in regards to establishing a routine is that babies don’t establish sleep patterns until they are about four months old. That is “about” the earliest that we can get them to sleep through the night and even this may vary greatly from infant to infant.

They may continue to need feeding through the night past the normal age of 14-16 weeks because solids are either not introduced or not sufficient to facilitate a significant gap in their digestive rhythms.

In addition there may a number of health variables that require a baby to need regular feeding periods and or adjustments that need to be made to their diet that are often difficult to identify under six months of age.

They are also developing trust in their environment, and each baby has a very distinct and clear set of physical and emotional needs that in this critical time still need catering for. Due to this, Sheyne is personally not able to service the needs of these tiny children in a safe, sustainable way, as many of their routines may vary as often as fortnightly to keep up with their fast developing bodies and personal sleep needs.

We strongly believe that any significant form of management of crying should be carried out under the strict supervision of a trained professional as a last resort, during this very tender age and should never be embarked on without the full support and strict guidance of your doctor, paediatrician and early childhood clinic sisters.

What we are aiming to do for babies over six months of age is provide a sustainable routine that parents can move forward with in one to two simple steps until they reach school age and sadly this is not possible from under six months.

However, don’t despair, in the interim there is many efficient services set up in your state and community designed to provide support and literature on early infancy basic needs. These may include (depending on your location) people that are able to come into your home or day/night stay clinics that will teach you basic settling techniques.

We have established a support forum also available on this site that will enable you to connect and discuss with other parents going through the same exhausting process. As soon as you open these lines of communication, people can share and recommend information and effective sleep management specialists in your area that you can then access yourself.

We would like to stress that people are to not use these forums to ask Sheyne herself questions, it has been set up for parents to talk to other parents and, unfortunately, she will not have time to read through all the entries individually. However, Sheyne will drop in from time to time and have guest speakers discussing specific areas of development etc.

If at six months you are still experiencing problems then Sheyne Rowley's positive routine management may be appropriate for you and your child’s needs.

Please contact me at that point and include basic details of your current situation.

The Australian Baby Whisperer understands that understand it’s hard to see past tomorrow or even the end of this day when you are feeling so physically and emotionally drained but you are not alone, this doesn’t have to be a lifestyle you need to adjust to. Think of it as the most challenging part of rearing children and the worst can be over in as little as six months. Hold on and know that there are plenty of people and resources available to you if you aren’t coping well.

The Australian Baby Whisperer recommends the following books for parents of babies this age:
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer - Tracy Hogg
Australian Baby and Toddler Meals - Robin Barker

a final note:

Just remember that by reading through the information on this brief fact sheet, you will not be able to fully understand the concepts or time frames to make your feeding progression changes completely, so you need to recognise that, if this makes sense to you, if it feels right and balanced then research the strategy by reading further on the topic.

Best of luck with your precious new babies, and remember, if you are having troubles, don’t hesitate to jump on my waiting list, I would be more than happy to help you settle your little one into an effective routine so you can all get that much deserved sleep.